my brother tyler is a pretty crazy guy. he wants to be a drag queen when he grows up. and he's only eight years old! he is dictating this story to me. enjoy.

once upon a time there was a drag queen named t'quella. she was a dancer. but she's really a man.

this is what t'quella does when she wakes up. she glues all her make-up on and then she shops and then she goes to her dancing place and then she goes and buys make-up and wigs and a dress -- a very short dress. there was a big concert that night and then he went to the concert and he sang the metal-tech (and that's a dance) and he won the concert and won twenty hundred wigs. but the hair fell off of all the wigs. and then she was so poor that she had to live in the streets.

another story, non-drag queen related (i think). it's called tyler.

once upon a time there was a boy named tyler. tyler was a metal-tech dancer. he made up the metal-tech. he thought it was very fun to dance the metal-tech.

it was so fun to dance the metal-tech he made up metal-tech 5 then everybody hated his dances cos there all so old. so he made metal-tech 6. but then that got old. so he made metal-tech the movie. the end.

this story is called green things.

once upon a time there was a boy named josh. josh hated green things which you can find on food. everyone in my family eats them. but josh doesn't. but to josh these were no ordinary things.

josh said, "i'm never going to eat green things again." then he ran away and had a fit. and he ran up into his room. and tyler is up there. and tyler was eating green things. and then josh ran to the garbage can and rinsed the green things off my plate and made a weird groaning sound in the garbage can. and then there was a lot of green things in the garbage can but that was josh's throw up. and that made josh throw up even more. the end.

about tyler (autobiography)

when i was six years old i made up the metal-tech. i liked it a lot so i made metal-tech 6. and i like drag queens. and i like abba. and i'm a psychopath. that's all.

you can email tyler at abbachild@earthlink.net. you can ask him questions and stuff. maybe i'll put up an ask tyler section on this page.